Allons-y

Thought I’d open up with this video.  I just finished Tennant’s run as Dr. Who and find myself rather sentimental at the moment.  I’ll definitely miss Tennant’s Doctor, all elongated and elastic, both in body and in thought.  I am, however, looking forward to Matt Smith’s version, though as I said before, I’ve already had a taste of what he brings in “Vincent and the Doctor.”

Anyway, it’s been a rough week at work.

No, that’s actually inaccurate.  There were two days, out of the five, where I felt the class start to come together.  However, most of the time, I’ve found myself sighing and raising my voice more often than actually teaching and “finding the fun” within the flow of the day.

It’s maddening.

We’re three weeks in and I still feel as if I haven’t made any true progress with the classroom, both academically and as a community.  Here and there, I’ll see a ray of light, but more often than not, something comes along and does a proper job of snuffing it out.  Whether it’s an inconsiderate action or a lack of effort, those little things seem to pile on and gain a momentum of their own.   I find my patience is growing short, ready to be lit on a moment’s notice lately . . . and I absolutely hate it.

But, I have to move on.

And in order to solve these issues of the classroom . . . I need to start with myself again.

This weekend (a three-day weekend, just at the right time) will be a time for reflection.  I have to look to myself if I’m to ever get this classroom where I think it can be.  That hope still burns for the students of the class and I’m sure it’ll never waver, but arriving at the location I’d like to be may take some time.  I’ve also understood one essential component in order for me to make this work.

I have to be better.

I have to be better in the way I carry myself.  I have to be better with my emotions.  I have to be better with how I’m setting up each and every student in that classroom.  I have to be a better person.

I have to be better.

I’ll take this weekend to figure out the logistics and the strategies involved.  I’m definitely a believer of choice and fate and it’s no coincidence that this weekend is here and that I’ve got to take some time for myself.

That is why I’ve got the video at the front of this post.  When I get back to work, I feel as if it’s my time to say . . .

“Allons-y!”

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